1943年，在克什米尔的首都、以“人间天堂”著称的斯利纳伽（Srinagar），我从我叔叔那里第一次听说美赫巴巴。我立刻对他产生偏见，因为我听说他用英语写文章谈灵性，我匆匆下结论说他是受雇于英国人的，试图把群众的视线从1942年8月由甘地发起的“退出印度”运动中转移开。几天后，我看见巴巴的照片，他显得很健康，毫无苦行的样子，这更让我确信他一定大吃大喝，并且相信我原先的怀疑没错儿。
在印度于1947年8月15日从英国人那里赢得独立之前，很多人都把寻求灵性拯救，或者跟随古鲁圣人，看作是自私的甚至是反国家的追求。他们觉得只要祖国印度的荣誉仍处于危机，每个人的最首要责任就是解放她；那也是我的感觉。
但是两个月后，我却做了一个特别的梦。在梦里我看到很多人聚会。我打听到美赫巴巴中午要来。我的手表是十二点差一刻，我不打算浪费十五分钟，只是为了见一个骗子。正要离开时，我突然生出一个念头：我应该留下来，盘诘美赫巴巴——用直接的发问难倒他。他将不知道怎么回答，他将支支吾吾，这样他就会在众人面前露馅。于是我等着。
但美赫巴巴中午没来。到了12:15他还没到。我又等几分钟后，便开始告诉人们美赫巴巴是个骗子，冒牌者。除了他的灵性宣称，他甚至连个绅士都装不像，否则他是不会让我们大家久等的。
然而，过了一会儿，人群开始分开两边，给美赫巴巴让路。我不打算去见他，但他却向我走来。即便如此，我也不准备向他行礼，但是，当他离我大概六英尺远时，一股不可知的力量让我趴倒在地。我从未试图鞠躬——我没有鞠躬，只是突然发现自己整个人趴在地上，头放在巴巴的脚上。我立刻意识到自己抵达了喜乐的源头。
做了这个梦以后，我变得躁动不安。我醒来时是早上4点，但我跑到叔叔家，请求他告诉我有关巴巴的一切。但除了已经告诉我的，他也不知道更多的。不过，他带我去见道拉·辛（Daulat Singh）医生，道拉·辛仅仅在德拉敦（Dehra Dun）见过巴巴一分钟，但这足以让他完全臣服于至爱巴巴。他对巴巴的臣服和接受是如此地彻底，他甚至从未感到有必要去了解有关巴巴的更多事情。对于他来说，巴巴就是神，这已经足够了。但在我的乞求下，他总算给我讲了他见巴巴的个人经历，这只能让我更加渴望亲见巴巴。
我写信给巴巴，说我想去阿美纳伽得到他的达善。我收到回信说有合适时机，我就会得到巴巴的达善，但他禁止我在这之前去他那儿。
一年后，1944年，一天晚上至爱巴巴隐蔽身份来到斯利纳伽，住在堂皇饭店（Majestic Hotel）。尽管之前我并不知道巴巴的访问，但因一系列的巧合，我和一个朋友不仅听说了这件事，而且我们第二天还去了堂皇饭店找他。
饭店里没人听说过美赫巴巴。他没用这个名字登记，连饭店里的脚夫也不知道。其中一个十二岁的男孩，对我说饭店里没有美赫巴巴。我灵机一动，问这个男孩他是否看过日出（山上的日出非常之美），然后我问他饭店里有没有一位留着胡子长发、就像旭日一样的人。男孩立刻说，“是的。有一个聋哑王公住在最高层。”
我决定去办公总处问一下谁住在最高层。往办公室走时，我们碰巧抬头看了看，就在那一刻，只有一秒种的时间，至爱巴巴从楼上的窗户向外望。多么明亮的一张脸呀！
我们不再犹豫，开始爬楼梯，去巴巴的那层楼。然而，我们到达之前，却被一个七十多岁但很健壮的男人拦住了。他是马萨吉（Masaji），彭度的父亲（美赫巴巴的姨父——译者注），虽然我们当时不知道这个。他查问我们想要见谁，我说：“美赫巴巴。”他回答说那里没有美赫巴巴，他自己已把整个一层楼预定下了，所以我们应该离开。
当我们坚持说我们知道巴巴就在那里，因为我们看见他了时，他说我们看到的只是他的厨师，长得像巴巴而已。于是我说：“你能叫你的厨师来吗？我们想见见他。”这时马萨吉突然转变话题，对我们说他们中有五个生病的妇女，都濒临死亡！任何打扰，哪怕我们低声说话，都可能结束她们的生命，她们的病情都非常、非常地严重——患有癌症，肺结核等等。
我们当然不相信他的话，但最后他不想再多跟我们理论，只是抓住我们，送我们下楼。不过，我们的辩论声传到巴巴那里，我们走到楼底时，巴巴传话说我们可已得到他的一分钟达善，条件是我们不要把他的身份泄漏给任何人，也不要向他顶礼或碰摸他的脚。
我们欣喜若狂，急切地爬上楼，站在小小的阳台上等候。巴巴手拿字母板来了。他触碰了一下前额，译者说：“巴巴说你们很幸运，我昨天夜里到这儿，你们今天就来了！”接着巴巴要我们放心，说不只是我们，我们的亲戚朋友也能在他离开克什米尔前得到他的达善，但要等些时候。
我回到家。但见了巴巴后，我处于一种特殊的心理状态，以至于那个白天和夜里都毫无食欲。第二天一大早，我又离开家向堂皇饭店走去，希望能再看巴巴一眼——如果他出来散步时。
走到半路，我后悔没带些花儿来。就在这时我看见有人手持一大束鲜花，花极为精美，配得上总督的餐桌！我知道这样一束花即使出高价也不一定能买到，但我一问，这个人就欣然把花递给我。我很吃惊，给他几个小钱，他没吭声就接受了，随后二话没说就走了。巴巴以他神奇的方式，实现了我的心愿。
但是现在我的问题是，我知道我不应该去饭店。我安慰自己说：我不去见巴巴本人，我只是把花交给巴巴的一个门徒或者脚夫，他们会转交给巴巴的。
我鼓足勇气，双手捧着玫瑰花，走进旅馆，寻找门徒或脚夫。但一个人都不见。我爬上楼梯。那是怎样的惊喜啊——至爱巴巴独自站在那里，好像在等着接受鲜花！他默默地打手势让我把鲜花放在他的脚前。我照做了，然后带着内疚与喜欢交织的心情退回。巴巴微笑着，他的面容比喜马拉雅山上升起的太阳还要灿烂！
译自《恩典的雨露》保·纳图编辑
翻译：美赫锋 校对：田心
原文：
A Bouquet at Baba’ Feet
T. N. Dhar
In Srinagar, the capital city of Kashmir, (known as “heaven on earth”, )I first heard of Meher Baba in 1943 from my uncle. I was instantly prejudiced against Him, as I was told that He had written articles in English on spirituality, and I jumped to the conclusion that He was in the pay of the British-trying to distract the masses from the “Quit India” movement which Gandhi had launched in August 1942. A few days later, I saw Meher Baba’ picture and He looked so healthy, so unascetic, that it only convinced me that He must have been eating and drinking a lot, and that my suspicions had been right.
Until India won her independence from the British on August 15, 1947, many people regarded seeking spiritual salvation, or following a guru or saint, as a selfish, even antinational pursuit. They felt that as long as the honor of the motherland, India, was at stake, the foremost duty of each was to work to make her free; that was also my feeling.
But two months later, I had an extraordinary dream. In the dream I saw a gathering. On enquiring, I was told that Meher Baba was coming at noon. By my watch it was a quarter to twelve. I was not prepared to waste fifteen minutes hanging around just to meet a fraud. I was about to leave when the thought struck me that I should stay and cross-examine Meher Baba-stump Him with direct questions. He would not know how to answer them, He would fumble and thus He would be exposed to the crowd as an imposter. So I waited.
But Meher Baba did not come at noon. He did not even come by 12:15. I waited a few more minutes and then began telling people in the crowd that Meher Baba was a cheat, a charlatan. Apart from His spiritual claims, He couldn’t even pretend to be a gentleman, or otherwise. He would not have kept us all waiting.
A little later, however, the crowd began to break into two to make way for Meher Baba. I had no intention of going to see Him, but He came to me. Even so, I was not ready to bow to Him but, when He was about six feet away from me, some unknown power laid me flat on the ground. I never tried to bend-I never did bend, I just suddenly found myself prostrated full length on the ground, with my head on Baba’s feet. And instantly I realized that I had reached the Source of bliss.
After this dream I became restless. When I woke, it was 4：00a. m. , but I rushed to my uncle’s house, and asked him to tell me everything he knew about Baba. However, he didn’t know any more than he had already told me. But he did take me to see Dr. Daulat Singh. Daulat Singh had only met Baba for one minute in Dehra Dun, but that was time enough for him to have surrendered completely to Beloved Baba. Yet his surrender to, and acceptance of Baba was so complete that he had never felt it necessary to learn anything more about Baba. To him, Baba was God, and that was enough. But, on my entreaties, he at last told me his personal experience of meeting Baba, and this only made me more anxious to see Baba for myself.
I wrote to Baba that I wanted to go to Ahmednagar to have His darshan. I received a reply that when the time was right, I would have Baba’s darshan, but He forbade me to go to Him until then.
A year later, in 1944, one night, Beloved Baba came incognito to Srinagar and went to stay at the Majestic Hotel. Although I had not known ahead of time of Baba’s visit, through a series of coincidences, a friend and I not only heard of it, but the very next day we even went to the Majestic Hotel in search of Him.
No one in the hotel had heard of Meher Baba. He was not registered under that name, nor did any of the bearers in the hotel know Him. One of them, a twelve year old boy, had just told me that there was no Meher Baba staying in the hotel. On the spur of the moment, I asked the boy if he had ever watched the sun rise(the sunrise in the mountains is very beautiful). Then I asked him if there was a man in the hotel with a mustache and long hair who resembled the rising sun. Instantly the boy said, “Yes. There is a deaf and dumb Maharajah staying on the top floor. ”
I decided to ask the main office who was staying on the top floor. As we were walking to the office, we happened to look up and just at that moment, only for a second, Beloved Baba peeped out of the upstairs window. What a luminous face!
Without further ado, we began climbing the stairs to Baba’s floor. Before we reached there, however, we were stopped by a man in his seventies who was nonetheless very strong. This was Masaji, Pendu’s father, although we did not know it at the time. He demanded to know whom we wanted to see. I said,“Meher Baba.” He replied that there was no Meher Baba there, that he had booked the entire floor himself so we should leave.
When we insisted that we knew Baba was there because we had seen Him, he said we had merely seen his cook who resembled Baba. So I said,“Can you call your cook, we would like to see him.” At this, Masaji abruptly changed the subject and informed us than he had five ailing ladies in his party and they were on the verge of death! Any disturbance, even if we whispered, might finish them off, as they were all in very, very serious condition-suffering from cancer, tuberculosis and so on.
Of course, we didn’t believe what he was saying but, finally, unwilling to argue with us any further, he simply grabbed us and escorted us back down the stairs. The noise of our discussion, however, had reached Baba and, as we arrived at the bottom of the stairs, a message came from Baba that we could have His darshan for one minute, provided we did not disclose His identity to anyone, and that we did not bow to Him or touch His feet.
We were delighted and eagerly reclaimed the stairs and stood at attention on the small balcony. Baba came with His alphabet board in hand. He touched His forehead, and the interpreter said,“Baba says you are very fortunate. I arrived here yesterday in the night, and you are here today!” Baba went on to assure us that not only me, but our friends and relatives, would also be able to have His darshan before He left Kashmir, but that would not be for some time.
I returned home but, after seeing Baba, I was in such a state of mind that I did not feel like eating anything the rest of that day or night. The next day I left home early in the morning and walked to the Majestic Hotel in the hopes that I might be able to catch a glimpse of Baba if He went out for a walk.
Halfway there, I felt sorry that I did not have any flowers with me. Just then I saw a man with a big bouquet of flowers, elegant enough for a Viceroy’s table! I knew such a bouquet could not be had even for a very high price, but on my asking for it, the man readily handed it to me. I was astonished and I gave him some paltry sum which he accepted without a murmur and then, still without saying a word, he went away. In His own miraculous way, Baba had provided me with what I had wished for. But now my problem was that I knew I should not go to the hotel itself. I consoled myself by thinking that I wouldn’t go to see Baba Himself, I would simply hand the flowers over to one of Baba’s disciples or a bearer, and they could pass them on to Him.
I took courage, and the bouquet of roses too, in both hands, entered the hotel and looked about for a disciple or bearer. But no one was in sight. I climbed the stairs and what a surprise there was-Beloved Baba standing alone as if He were waiting to receive the flowers! He silently gestured that I simply place the flowers at His feet. I did so and then retreated with a mixed feeling of guilt and bliss. Baba was smiling and His face was even more radiant than the sun rising over the Himalayas!
Showers of Grace compiled by Bal Natu Copyright 1984
